Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Goals To Live By-#7 Be Authentic

“You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby.
But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”   Margery Williams

Being authentic is one of the hardest things to do.  Most everyone of us seeks approval of some kind.   I grew up as a "people pleaser"and just when I began to recover I married a pastor and I suddenly became "too good or not good enough: had too much money or not enough;  drove too nice a car, wore too nice of clothes,  exercised too much," and the list goes on and on!  Just ask a pastor's wife sometime.  To make matters even worse I took full responsibility when people got angry and decided to leave the church!  I remember writing letters of apology and feeling like somehow I could have stopped their departures if only I had tried harder..  Wow!  I'm so glad I survived those years.
 Life and it's choices are tough but knowing who you are,  what you stand for, and ultimately who you belong to is important for your overall health;  emotionally, spiritually, and physically.   I like the saying, "if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything."

As I write this I admit there are days I struggle with my greying hair, my aging skin and body.  I color my hair to keep it blonde, wear a bit of make-up, and aim to exercise at least five days a week. I want to wear stylish clothes and I try to keep up with some of the latest trends.
 I grew-up in a society that rewards beauty and youth, especially here in Orange County California which is also geographically close to Hollywood.  In addition my mother was a professional model and when I was very young she got me involved in modeling too.  When I was a teenager I was a homecoming princess and I was entered in and won two beauty pageants a couple of years later.  I've spent plenty of hours in front of cameras and/or on "stage."  Needless to say there was a lot of attention placed on looks for as long as I can remember. 
 Fortunately I'm working on maturing into a person who (on most days) knows that I am a child of God and since He doesn't care about outside appearances,  or what people think about me, neither should I.  Being a grandmother has helped me with this too.  My purpose and focus in life has changed and it's awesome!

To "Be Authentic" here is what I strive to be:
Some days I fail miserably but I set my goals and execute a "personal inventory check-up" when I am missing the mark. I am also quick to admit when I am wrong and I don't have trouble apologizing, remembering that it is not always my fault (the pastor's wife guilt stuff rearing it's ugly head).

“All people are like grass,
and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.

The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the Lord blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.

The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God endures forever.”       Isaiah 40:6-8 

 Being authentic and real means you are willing to take some risks and step-out in faith and trust that being true to who you are won't always be well-received by others.
 What do you struggle with or want to be?  I would love to read your comments. 

Need help or do you want to contact me?  You can email me at Donna@DonnaSchuller.com


  1. Personally, I try to be true to myself. By that I mean, for instance, that when I dress up in a nice shirt and blazer to go to a show, it is because I feel I am not only honouring the artists/performers, but it makes me feel good and I am dressing up for myself and not to impress others. I struggle and have always struggled with self-image and that is perhaps why I too, try to look my best. As a child I had crooked teeth and my family could not afford braces but I lived with jokes at school (Bugs Bunny jokes). Glasses then led to being called "Four eyes" and while we all perhaps have had to deal with stuff as we grew up, I hope it made me more kind in spirit and able to see beyond the physical and more to the inner and positive aspects of others; what they said and did in their relationships with others. If I can go to sleep and feel I was true to myself and thereby was authentic in my relationship to God and my friends I sleep well. May we all know, God loves us all and we can talk with HIM as He gets us through everything.

  2. Thanks for revealing your personal feelings about yourself, Donna. I too struggle with my body image,
    now that I am in my 60's. I take an exercise class once a week and I exercise at home as well. In the nice weather, I walk every day. I used to colour my hair, but I have inherited nice white hair from my dad.
    It is important to be true to ourselves. I am accepting the way I am aging, but it isn't always easy. I am the way god made me.


Thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog. Please try to stay on the topic and remember also that there are many who are struggling through all kinds of challenges. Let's all be kind and thoughtful with our comments please! :D