Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Every Body Needs a Little R & R!

I know, it's been a while and I apologize for going dark on you for a spell!   I wanted to make sure that those who needed to see my last post got a chance to do so thus I left it up for longer than usual in hopes that some found comfort or good feelings.  I also hope it allowed for closure to what was an incredible chapter in the lives of millions of people all over the globe. 

Diamante golf course on the Pacific side.  The sand dunes we used to ATV in!

My site is all about mind, body, soul health so I enjoy the freedom that allows me in talking about any or all of the three areas which make up us amazing humans.  Today I want to focus on the need for respecting yourself and your loved ones enough to know when it's time for a retreat.
 If you know anything about the human side of Jesus you will realize that he regularly took time to be alone, especially after surrounding himself with so many people and performing all of those miracles.  He had great and healthy boundaries.
 If you can't find any time off then maybe your boss is taking advantage of you (you need to learn boundaries) Or maybe it's you telling yourself that you don't need or deserve a vacation until....(fill in the blank)  If you don't work and your husband/wife, or partner won't "allow" you to be alone...well, again, it probably means that you are not very emotionally healthy because you allow yourself to be talked into what others think is best for you.

The main reason that I haven't written in so long is that I needed to take some time away and so my husband and I went on a much-needed vacation right after the 4th of July.  We purposely cut ourselves off from the phone and the emails but had there been an emergency people knew how to find us.  We talked, laughed, golfed, worked-out, sat at the beach,  read,  dreamed new dreams, explored new sights, and enjoyed fantastic yet casual meals.  The highlight of the trip was having our oldest daughter, Angie and her husband, Chris join us for a few days.  *Anytime you can vacation with your loved-ones I encourage you to do so.  It's a fun and a bonding experience.  You get to learn various things about each other that you may not otherwise have the time to discover.  

This was taken in a 'hidden' dinning room I discovered at La Panga Restaurant in San Jose' Del Cabo.

 People will say that they are too busy to get away, still others will say that they just can't afford it.  I can't afford not to!
My recent time away was relaxing but I must admit,  a bit weird feeling because I didn't take my computer and I had no internet for my iphone and no phone service either.  When I say "weird" I mean it made me feel disconnected, out-of-sorts, and very odd to be without all of my technology.  On the other hand it gave me time to realize just how addicted I am when it comes to being wired.  It gave me a chance to work on my boundaries as sometimes I fall into the trap of believing that people just can't get by without me! (or that I just can't get by without my e-devices)

"Personal boundaries are what define your identity. They’re like the property lines around a home. This is my property and that is not my property. This is me — what I value, am good at, believe, need, or feel — and that is not me.
To know yourself and be secure that you are loved is essential to all relationships and activities. The better your boundaries of self-awareness and self-definition are the greater your capacity to offer empathy and love to others. Good boundaries help you to care for others because you have a stable foundation to operate from and are not distracted or depleted by personal insecurities or blind spots. (That’s why it’s not “selfish” or unloving to have boundaries and “take care of yourself.”)source

Okay, so here's the deal:  I know that many of you will doubt this or refuse to do it:   At the very least take a night a week to be alone with your husband or your significant other.  Picnics at the beach or at a park are free.  Make it a surprise.  It will really help your relationship and it will get you out of your rut.  If you are single, do it alone.  Changing your routine will create new opportunities, and who knows, you might even meet someone!

If you think you cannot take the time off for a vacation, please step out in faith and schedule one anyway.   Go online (there's my technology again) and find a three day discounted get-away on one of the many coupon sites.  Leave Friday noon and come back late Sunday.  (By the way, you should be doing this short escape at least every ten to twelve weeks)  Better yet, Google a place where you've always wanted to visit and research the best time of the year to go including the best prices.  Plan an entire week away.  (you should be doing this every six months).
Commit to staying healthy while you're away.  For tips on how to do this my daughter, Christina recently wrote a great blog addressing this challenge and you can read it here.
Remember-not taking care of yourself is a boundary issue.

P.S.  It's summer so make sure you keep your healthy sunscreen on!   Click here to learn more about how important it is to use a non-carcinogenic sunscreen.   These products are amazing!!


  1. Sure is good advice though as you say all may not take the time/ True story:I recall a co-worker of my firm always swamped seemingly, but I saw them hovering over the same report for hours. I knew of a time-management course I had taken and pulled out the details, told the friend to let me know a good time and I would cover their desk. A couple of weeks passed and still they were hovering, missing lunch, staying late, looking awful. So I asked, "Hey? How about that time mgmt course?". Had NOT even had TIME to read the brochure! True story and we all have some degree of not even looking at ways to get a better life for ourselves and our loved ones. Me included!

    Seriously, we have got to refresh as you say Donna, and I have let it go too long myself. Yes we have been away a few times but not as in 1st 20 years of marriage. Not enough down time or should I say Up Time anymore? And all my reasons would be just excuses. A weekend every couple of months, a week twice a year and I know those trips do not need a lot of planning or new clothes or a lot of money, just a ticket or hit the highway or train station and pack a cooler to boot?

    I will take your "wake-up call" as this post seems to me! I needed that so thanks and I agree, no computer when I/we go....which will be soon, seriously!

    So glad you and yours had a gr8 refreshing time. We shall as well.

    God is blessing all, always
    PS: My wife and I love packing picnic lunches for car trips as we can shop together, prepare the picnic together and then on the road just pull into a park by the water or at a lookout just gaze out or listen to the birds while we feast! See ya!

  2. My husband and I spend time in the summer at our family cottage. My parents bought the land and built a cottage there, many years ago. It's a wonderful place to rest and relax away from the busy city. We share it with my sister and her family. My husband and I spend more time together at the cottage than we do at home, since we're away from computers and cell phones. It is important to take time to relax. The society we live in has become very hectic and people are rushing here and there. At the cottage we see the beauty of God's creation.
    God bless everyone.

  3. Sometimes HE gives you a bit of a "heads up"? I'm not sure but I think sometimes HE "speaks" quietly into our thoughts and stuff works better if we are "listening" for HIM (yes I am reading Dallas Willard's book "Hearing God" along with following this blog of Donna's..

    Yes I took the good advice here and we made arrangements to take a 3 week trip to see my wife's family on the coast of Canada (about 1500 miles from us) and tho' we had a house to rent arranged, the renter asked we wait a few days so she could confirm another vacationer would have left before our arrival planned for August 26; so air tickets, a car rental etc was put on hold as was the house deposit. Then, on this Thursday after no dates with my wife for awhile we took Donna's advice, went to the theatre and a dinner..wonderful time and just in time so to speak. We had a call later Thursday evening that my Mum had just fallen at her nursing residence; broken hip, chipped knee so Friday was a day at hospital and we await surgery soon. Good thoughts will be appreciate for my Mum (Barbara) who will be 85 Aug 17 but is a bit "out" on morphine now. So sorry of her fall and the volunteer assist person who was helping her get up from the dinner table but lost her hold on my Mum. But I am glad our trip was already on hold. Also glad we had our night out before the "accident".

    HIS eye is on the sparrow and so too on thee

  4. My thoughts and prayers go out to your family at this difficult time. My mom had a few falls before she passed away a few years ago. It's so hard to see our parents when they are ill and in pain.
    God bless you.

  5. Thank you Liz. You too I see, had the experience of the falls of your Mom in her later years and I guess my Mum will be in a wheelchair from now on, after this episode. She is strong-willed so we will hope she is as accepting of her situation as I think she will be. At least the surgery is now done and the hip was viable for a steel plate and rods rather than a full hip replacement. The knee will repair itself the doctors say. Again, your prayers are really appreciated.

    God bless.


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